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How to Better Retain Female Clients and Grow Your RIA: 2025 Guide with Linda Sherman of Financially Empowered

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Key Takeaways
  • Estate planning is a big differentiator for your RIA: Michele Holmes (Director of Estate Planning Operations and Support at Encore) emphasizes, "Estate planning is personal and that's an easy open to really build a connection with your women clients." Estate planning conversations align perfectly with women's priorities of connection and peace of mind for their families, creating opportunities for deeper relationships and multi-generational retention.
  • Always discuss these six focus areas when it comes to estate planning: Discussing the six estate planning focus areas of guardianship, healthcare decisions, financial decisions, executors/trustees, beneficiaries, and charitable legacy can take your client relationships to the next level.

  • Estate planning is a team sport: Proactively engage female clients (and really, all of your clients!) in estate planning, and have them be an active participant in all estate planning conversations!

  • "Do not confuse attendance with connection": just because your female clients are present when you're talking to them doesn't mean they're actually connecting with you and intaking everything you're saying.Use humor strategically when bringing up and discussing estate planning with clients.

  • Engage her, then her people: once you've built a strong relationship with your female clients, don't hesitate to request introductions to executors, trustees, and beneficiaries, creating multi-generational client retention.
  • Turn service interactions into relationship builders: according to Robin Darden (Estate Planner at Encore), everyday interactions can deepen relationships. Simple acts, such as checking if clients' beneficiary designations are up-to-date or if they have healthcare directives, significantly boost advisor value in clients' eyes.

In this article:

Executive Summary

Financial advisors often overlook one of the most significant opportunities in wealth management: effectively retaining female clients. Women are poised to control two-thirds of U.S. household assets – approximately $30 trillion – by 2030.

Despite this staggering opportunity, financial advisors continue to face challenges connecting meaningfully with female clients, particularly when it comes to estate planning. Women consistently report wanting connection and peace of mind from their advisors, not just investment performance discussions.

So how do you best overcome these challenges? Have in-depth estate planning conversations with female clients, which are the perfect vehicle for delivering both connection and peace of mind.

To help advisors capitalize on this opportunity, EncorEstate Plans teamed up with Financially Empowered's Linda Sherman, along with estate planners Michele Holmes (Director of Estate Planning Operations at Encore) and Robin Darden (Estate Planner and Paralegal at Encore), to share their insights into overcoming these challenges and improving advisor-client relationships through thoughtful estate planning conversations.

Watch the Workshop Recording

 

 

Takeaway #1: The $30 Trillion Opportunity and the 70% Problem

The numbers paint a compelling picture of both opportunity and risk. Linda Sherman opens with a striking statistic that should capture every advisor's attention:

"Women are gonna control two thirds of US household assets or 30 trillion by 2030, up from 10 trillion today. So that is a triple in five years."

To put this in perspective, Sherman explains that the "$30 trillion number is greater than US GDP and a quarter of world GDP" – the largest concentration of wealth in the hands of women in human history!

But, this opportunity comes with a sobering reality that has remained unchanged for over three decades. Sherman emphasizes:

"70% of women who become divorced or widowed, fired their partner's advisor within a year, 70% divorce and death may be your biggest competitor, not other advisors."

The emotional toll on women who feel disconnected from their financial advisors becomes clear through client feedback. Sherman shares that when asked how women feel about their relationship with their advisor, the research reveals devastating words: "It's awful, overlooked, disconnected, overwhelmed, and unprepared."

Actionable Takeaways
  • Recognize the demographic shift happening in wealth ownership and prepare your practice accordingly.
  • Audit your current female client relationships to identify those at risk of leaving.
  • Address the fundamental disconnect between what women want (connection and peace of mind) and what many advisors provide (investment performance discussions).
  • Proactively engage with female clients before life events force the conversation.

Understanding these statistics helps advisors recognize that retaining female clients isn't just about being nice or inclusive—it's about capturing your share of the largest wealth transfer in history while avoiding the devastating loss of assets that comes with client departures.

 

Takeaway #2: The Importance of Connection and Peace of Mind

The solution to the retention problem lies in understanding what women actually want from their advisor relationships. Sherman reveals a crucial insight:

When women were asked what they need from their advisors, "Their answer had nothing to do with investment, performance or fees. They want connection and peace of mind. And one of the keys to delivering this is the estate planning conversation."

This creates a perfect storm of opportunity, because while women crave these estate planning conversations, most advisors avoid them. Sherman notes: "9 out of 10 advisors do not incorporate estate planning into their practice on a consistent basis. Now, here's the disconnect: 93% of clients expect their advisor to discuss estate planning, but obviously the majority don't."

Michele Holmes explains why estate planning works so well for connecting with women:

"Estate planning is the easy end to talk about with women. It's not talking about numbers or trading and things like that. That might be hard to start talking with someone you don't know as well with, and estate planning is personal to them, and that's an easy open to really build a connection with your women clients."

The emotional weight of these conversations becomes evident through client stories. Sherman shares: "This woman, ugh, I love her. What did she tell us? 'I have growing anxiety and wake up at night because I don't know anything about our estate plan or what will happen to me and my family.' She continued to tell us, ready? 'I pounded on my husband almost daily to finalize our estate plan, but he told me, and I'm quoting here, 'He didn't wanna think about dying.' See Michele laughing there. I know this client, it took her almost 10 years to get it done. That is 10 years of anxiety and fear that is not okay."

The irony of this woman's situation is that her husband has a net worth of $200M and loves big game hunting! Anyone worth $200M and no estate plan certainly has every right to be anxious, especially if their husband engages in high risk activities frequently.

Actionable Takeaways

  • Lead with estate planning conversations as your differentiator from other advisors.

  • Frame estate planning discussions as providing peace of mind rather than just document preparation.

  • Use estate planning to demonstrate that you understand and care about what matters most to your female clients.

  • Proactively schedule estate planning reviews rather than waiting for clients to bring it up.
Estate planning conversations allow advisors to operate in what Sherman calls "her lane"—where the female client is the expert on her family, her values, and her wishes for the future.

Takeaway #3: Six Meaningful Questions That Transform Client Relationships

The practical application of estate planning as a relationship tool comes through what Sherman calls "six meaningful questions" that create opportunities for deeper connection and understanding. These questions, found in their estate planning guide, serve as conversation starters that go far beyond technical document preparation.

Question 1: Who do you want to act as legal guardian to take care of your minor children?

Sherman shares her personal experience: "I ended up changing my guardians three times in 10 years. I mean, my sister-in-law said, 'Linda, I'm traveling three months a year on crystal cruises. I can't take care of your son.' So I had to make a change." This demonstrates how estate planning decisions evolve and why ongoing conversations matter.

Question 2: Who will make healthcare decisions for you if you're not able to do so?

The urgency of this question becomes clear through Sherman's story: "We heard from an LA family whose son in college was in a terrible car accident in San Francisco. He did not have a healthcare directive. Doctors at the hospital would not speak with the parents over the phone. So just imagine that awful drive to San Francisco not knowing."

Question 3: Who will make financial decisions for you if you're not able to?

This question opens doors to meeting key people in your client's life, as Sherman explains:

"This person is clearly critical to your asset retention."Speak with your top clients about the person they selected and their experience. I want you to please write this down. You are gonna ask for an introduction and you're just gonna say, 'I'd welcome an introduction so that they know I'm available to assist them with financial decisions.'"

Sherman emphasizes this as part of her broader theme: "Meet her people."

She continues: "So I recently met with a $2 million producer and he told me that he didn't have time to discuss estate plan. I shared with him the following story: a single girlfriend of mine worked with her advisor and an attorney to create her estate plan. The advisor asked the magic introductory quote asking for the introduction to our trustee and executor, which was her brother. By the way, that brother is worth $200 million."

Question 4: Who will you select to be the executor of your will and the trustee of your trust?

Sherman explains the significance of this question:

"The roles of executor and trustee require both emotional and administrative tasks, neither of which are always easy. So whoever they appoint must be qualified and trustworthy and capable as they have discretion to spend trust assets or withhold distributions and circumstances. Or beneficiaries might have substance abuse or mental health issues. This is a serious responsibility where you can help."

Robin Darden adds practical insight about the flexibility of these decisions:

"And also for your trustees and different things like that, they're gonna take care of you. Your husband may have had, or your partner may have had a different, totally different idea than what you have and had a better relationship. So it's not something that can't be changed later on down the road if something happens or can always be amendments done to, have their wishes taken care of."

Question 5: Who will inherit your assets?

Sherman emphasizes the importance of digging deeper: "Find out additional information about the client's family aka your potential future clients offer to be the educator. Lead that family conversation."

Sherman also references pop culture to make her point: "I don't know about you, but Sunday nights are not the same without the show Succession. But you don't need to be the fan of the show to know that families can be complicated and dysfunctional. Help her take control so she can avoid the kind of dysfunction that becomes the stuff of TV drama."

Question 6: Do you want to leave a meaningful legacy to a charitable organization?

This question reveals values and creates differentiation, as Sherman notes: "Women are more than twice as likely as men to say that giving to a charity is the most satisfying thing about having money and twice as likely as men to consider impact investing."

Actionable Takeaways
  • Use these six questions as a structured agenda for estate planning meetings.
  • Send the questions in advance so clients come prepared to discuss.
  • Focus on understanding the "who" and "why" behind each decision.
  • Document the stories and relationships these questions reveal to deepen your understanding of each client.

Michele Holmes adds an important reminder:

"We like to say your estate plan is set in sand, not stone, so you can change it anytime."

This reassures clients that these decisions aren't permanent, reducing anxiety about making "perfect" choices.

Related: How to Start Your Estate Planning Practice as a Financial Advisor

 

Takeaway #4: Meeting Her People - The Multi-Generational Strategy

One of the most powerful aspects of estate planning conversations is the opportunity to meet what Sherman calls "her people": the trusted individuals in your client's life who could become significant prospects. This strategy turns estate planning into a business development tool while genuinely serving your client's needs.

Sherman shares a compelling example:

"I recently met with a $2 million producer and he told me that he didn't have time to discuss estate plan. I shared with him the following story: a single girlfriend of mine worked with her advisor and an attorney to create her estate plan. The advisor asked the magic introductory quote asking for the introduction to our trustee and executor, which was her brother. By the way, that brother is worth $200 million."

The key to making these introductions lies in proper framing. Sherman suggests saying: "I'd welcome an introduction so that they know I'm available to assist them with financial decisions." Being direct in asking for these introductions is key especially when teeing yourself up as the advisor for their beneficiaries and trustees.

And it becomes even more crucial when you look at a stat Sherman cites: "80% of children fire their parents' advisor. 68% have no relationship established with their parents' advisor." This creates urgency around building relationships with the next generation before they inherit.

Robin Darden reinforces what Linda has said:

"In my experience, this is what has happened exactly what Linda has said that more than not, the women, the woman is not involved and they don't even know where the estate plan is. They don't know where the assets are, they have no idea. Don't even know if their name is on the deed correctly, when the husband passes away."

Actionable Takeaways
  • Request introductions to executors, trustees, and other key people in your client's estate plan.
  • Frame these introductions as providing assistance and support to the people your client trusts most.
  • Host family meetings to educate multiple generations about estate planning and build relationships.
  • Document the network of relationships around each client to identify natural expansion opportunities.

The strategic value of this approach extends beyond just meeting prospects. Sherman explains: "9 out of 10 women will control their household finances at some point in their lives. Many already do, married or not, and many aren't. In fact, 80% of men die married and 80% of women die single."

 

Takeaway #5: Creating Your Action Plan for Female Client Engagement

Step 1: Get your team on board

According to Sherman, all of this starts with the team: "Create a culture of turning everyday service calls into relationship building calls." Those little touchpoints will snowball over time into better engagement and connection with your clients, especially female clients.

Step 2: Mine your book for opportunities to refresh and reengage

The opportunities hiding in existing client relationships are substantial. Sherman notes: "There is a gold mine in there. Look at accounts with no estate plans, outdated plans, or recent life changes. How about accounts not titled in trust or trust, accounts without assets?"

As Eric Negron has stated time and time again, aiming for more AUM is not enough: it's all about information under management (IUM).

Step 3: Be the educator to her and her family

Don't assume attendance equals engagement! Just because a client is in the meeting with you, it doesn't mean they're actually absorbing everything you're going over with them, let alone feeling connected with you!

One way to always check she's following you according to Sherman: "Ask her, would you like a separate meeting to address your needs or review your plans?"

Step 4: Engage your centers of influence

If you haven't already, strengthen your strategic partner relationships, e.g., family attorneys, CPAs, and business managers, by co-hosting client events with them to meet their clients and partners. With small in-person events making a comeback for engaging both prospects and clients, co-hosting such events is a win-win for you and your strategic partners.

Actionable Takeaways
  • Assign specific team members to lead the female client engagement initiative.
  • Create systematic processes for identifying estate planning opportunities during routine client interactions.
  • Develop separate meeting opportunities for female clients who may feel overshadowed in joint meetings.
  • Partner with other professionals to expand your reach into female-focused networks.


Takeaway #6: The Referral Multiplier Effect

Perhaps the most compelling business case for focusing on female clients comes through understanding their referral behavior. Sherman shares a statistic that'll make you do a double-take:

"Satisfied female clients may refer up to 20 times more than the most satisfied male client."

To emphasize the mathematical impact, Sherman breaks it down:

"So one becomes 20, 20 becomes 400. Think about that. This is a game changer for prospecting and growing your business. Women talk to each other and trust each other. You're satisfied. Female clients can be your growth engine."

The key to activating this referral engine lies in creating the right experiences. Sherman explains: "After our event, our attendees are inspired to sit down with you and act on next steps in their financial life." She adds: "When you do, you'll hear things like, 'I can think of so many friends who need to go through this process,' which is now music to your ears."

The contrast with traditional approaches becomes stark when considering how most advisor meetings are structured. Sherman cites research showing that "an hour long meeting on average an advisor speaks for, you see it here. Drum roll: 53 minutes, leaving only seven minutes for the client."

Actionable Takeaways
  • Restructure client meetings to focus more on listening and less on presenting.
  • Create estate planning experiences that naturally lead to referral conversations.
  • Host women-focused events that encourage networking and sharing among female clients.
  • Track and measure referral patterns from female clients versus male clients.

The compounding effect of this approach becomes evident when advisors commit to the long-term strategy. Sherman notes: "The advisor that earns her trust doesn't just retain her net worth, often they inherit her entire net worth."

Action Steps for Advisors to Get Started Today

Audit Your Current Female Client Relationships: Review your book of business to identify women who may be at risk of leaving, particularly those who have experienced recent life changes or feel disconnected from your practice.

Implement the Six Questions Framework: Begin incorporating Financially Empowered's six meaningful estate planning questions into your client meetings, using them as structured conversation starters rather than technical document discussions.

Create Team-Wide Estate Planning Awareness: Train your entire team to identify estate planning opportunities during routine client interactions, turning admin calls into relationship-building moments.

Develop Your Introduction Strategy: Frame introduction requests as providing additional support and assistance (friends, family, anyone whom they love and care for).

Schedule Women-Focused Meetings: Proactively offer separate meetings to female clients who may feel overshadowed in joint sessions, giving them dedicated time to discuss their priorities and concerns.

Track and Measure Results: Monitor retention rates, referral patterns, and relationship quality with female clients to quantify the impact of your estate planning-focused approach.

Related: How to Increase Your Estate Plan Completion Rate

Michele Holmes sums it up nicely:

"Just be an advisor to people and you'll be end up being an advisor to women" given the demographic realities of wealth transfer and longevity."

Robin Darden also emphasizes the importance of authenticity:

"I don't know about you guys, but me as a woman, I like a financial advisor that's more compassionate. They just happen to be the men that I have financial advisors association with. So as long as they're compassionate about it and a woman will know if they have their best interest at heart."

How To Get Started
Learn more about Financially Empowered's comprehensive training programs and get a detailed demo of the Encore platform to see how you can simplify the estate planning process for your clients while building stronger relationships that last generations.